Oh god, did I really just type that? Especially now that I'm twenty? Well I'm not twenty YET!, since I was born at the night-ish around 10 or 11 pm, I think...
Anyways, I'm no longer a teenager; I can't believe it. I'm kind of glad now. I'm not really sad that I'm not a teenager anymore, more like I'm shocked cause DANG! I HAVE LIVED TWO DECADES NOW! I'm still waiting for the time where I can totally forget about my birthday and my age. Like when I'm thirty-two or something and I totally forget how old I am and think that I'm 48 and then think that my birthday is in August or something. Can't wait for all that mid-life crisis moment.
Haha, joking aside. When it's a person's birthday, I honestly would not know what to think if I were in his/her shoes. But in my shoes, I don't really care about it. I do not like the idea of me being the center of attention. I don't like it when people give me gifts because something about it seems weird and awkward. I don't know. I just wish that on my "birthday" everyone would forget about it and treat it as if it were any other day, a day that isn't special, because honestly I'm no one special. I'm just an ordinary girl that exists on this Earth. I don't mind if my birthday was celebrated because I made a great impact or something. I just really don't want to celebrate something because people have too. I hate that feeling when it's not genuine. I don't want people to celebrate my birthday because they should. I would like them to celebrate it if and only if they want to because they enjoy taking the time to do it. I mean, if they see it as a waste of time and unnecessary, then oh help me god, don't do it at all because honestly, I wouldn't celebrate my own birthday. I'm not fishing for pity or anything, just putting it out there. I saying what I truly believe. I find birthdays annoying personally. What is all this deal with parties, gifts... It is such a hassle, right? If I could be granted any wish, I would wish that people forgot my birthday. I don't want to constantly be reminded that I'm aging. I don't want to receive gifts because people tell me that they forgot and will get it but then it never comes which leads me to have expectations but to only find out that i shouldn't have had it in the first place. I don't enjoy the fact yet still find it really really nice that people say happy birthday to you once and never speak to you again. I especially hate when people celebrate it because they find it a chore to make me happy. No, I don't want if it's only going to make me happy. I want it for you to enjoy and be fun when you're doing it. Then, that would make the birthday worthwhile.
Well, what I'm trying to say is: happy birthday susan. just another normal day so don't have any expectations. don't think you'll be treated like royalty. just know that you're living and be grateful for that. i don't know. i'm 20. mid-life crisis already? haha probably just sleep deprivation. gnite!
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